I’ve had a hard time the last few days putting my thoughts on “paper.” Physically, I feel ok… good for the most part, but this journey is kicking my ass mentally and emotionally. Before my surgery, I avoided places, people, and things because I didn’t think I would fit in or that everyone would be judging me. My anxiety and depression would convince me that no one really wanted me to be there and that I was better off missing out. Now that I’ve had surgery, I find that people are either avoiding me because they’re nervous that I won’t be able to take part in their plans or maybe they just truly never wanted me to be there in the first place. I don’t really know.
As we grow into the adult versions of ourselves, we become extremely busy. Busy with work, school, kids, sports, our spouse, Netflix… all of it. I am guilty of it. I’ve spent the last 10 years being too tired to do everything. I’ve forced myself to get up and go to work, to put some sort of dinner in front of my family, to attend volleyball games and school functions, to keep up my house and do laundry, and to do the bare minimum of living that I could possibly do before I hid under the sheets away from the world. Now that I’ve had surgery, I feel like I need to take advantage of this second chance at living. I mean really living. I have more energy than before, but I get tired really easy at the same time. A lot of it is healing and the other part is because my body is still trying to adjust to the different pace of life. My husband and I have realized over the last few years that we really don’t have a lot of people to do things with. We’ve been busy being parents and growing our relationship and trying to survive everything that life has thrown at us. That is really daunting on a person mentally. We have a few couples who we hang with occasionally, but quite honestly, other than that, it’s us against the world.
I’ve decided that one of my top priority goals is to live out loud more often. What I mean by that… working on being more present in the lives of the people who are important to us. I’ve secluded myself and us as a family from a lot of people because of the way I’ve felt about myself. I promise I’m working on it. I’m focused on becoming better, on being more engaged, and being more positive. There is no way that I can do this journey without the support of people who care for me.
On another note, I’m officially 30 pounds down post op! Holy shit. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m finding ways to incorporate different flavors into my foods to make the process less monotonous. I’ve been including some of my meals and shakes on my Instagram and Facebook pages, but this morning’s breakfast was too good not to share.
Egg Scramble
- 4 Large Eggs
- 1/3 c Fairlife Fat Free Milk
- 3 oz Butterball Smoked Turkey Sausage, diced
- 2 oz diced green peppers
- 1 oz diced onion
- 2.2 oz diced portobello mushrooms
- 4 oz shredded Colby jack cheese
I sautéed the veggies and turkey in a skillet. I didn’t use oil because my peppers and onions were frozen and moisture kept everything from burning/sticking. Scrambled the eggs and Fairlife together and poured over the veggie and meat and cooked on low heat until eggs were firm enough. Sprinkle the cheese over top, cover, and remove from heat.
This made about 4-6, 3 oz servings, I didn’t count for sure because I was feeding my family, as well. I measured out a 3 oz portion for myself. It was so delicious and easy. You could add salsa, hot sauce, avocado if you wanted an additional layer of flavor.
Here is the breakdown for my 3 oz serving…
❤️C
Challenging Chalcye 